Confusion feels this mind of mine

Emotion takes over the pain inside.
I sit back and wonder why”
Wonder why’ I sit back and see the joy of others that watch
The pain that grows in me.


The ones that I called friends in the beginning
I begin to witness a change
The growth and strange behavior
I can not explain

Lies bundled up ‘I see it in their eyes.
They can’t even make eye contact without dying inside
So….wats left more heart ackes’more pain
More tears’ more shame

Why stay here if that’s all I live for
I feel as if I don’t accomplish shit anymore.

So I take this stand to say
I no longer want to be in anyone’s way
Travel downstairs to the kitchen floor
Where laid a bottle of pills
I couldn’t take it anymore

Pop one, pop two, pop three’ more then four
I felt my insides give up as I clasped to the floor
Laying helpless as I did

I sat and thought
Wishing this shit hurried up
I didn’t want to cry anymore

In ran one two three and four.
The four that I adore
There wasn’t nothing I could say that day
How selfish was I to try to take my life away

Not thinking what kind of effect that would have on others that day
If my heart stopped beating
In any kind of way

Theres only a few that know this is how life supposed to go
You have trials tribulations and hardships to make it to success
It took all that to realize how much
I WAS BLESSED